just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
