KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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