At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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