Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
