PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
