So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
