remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
