What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
