I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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