I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
