he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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