Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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