Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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