there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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