just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
