Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
