Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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