would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
