Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
