I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
