Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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