Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
