She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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