let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
