dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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