You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
