hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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