The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
