This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
