He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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