Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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