Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
