If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
