we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
