Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize