So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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