so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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