You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
