i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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