Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she looked like the before picture.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
