I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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