I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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