I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
