This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
