Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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