If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
