Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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