i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.