He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???