Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina