I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.