I must be too annoying 4 u.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
