You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
