i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it because I queefed?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
