its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
wat bout pragnant strippers??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
