So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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