I think I just saw someone hide a body.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
