Who did Billy Mays play for?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
