so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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