so explain again why im purple
no
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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