Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
