I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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