Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your cock deserves a montage
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
