somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
