I puked a lego.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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