Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
