he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
