Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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