boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
