Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
